Posted by: Brad Nixon | September 23, 2010

Ozzie Weighs In

I cruised up to the intersection of El Segundo with Aviation just as I finished a chapter in the lectures I’m listening to about the history of Venice. We’re up to the 15th Century, Venice is an empire and they’ve made a temporary peace with the Ottoman Turks, the Renaissance is flourishing, meaning that the Bellinis (the painters, not the drinks), Titian, Sansovino and Palladio are painting and building stuff all over the place.

I turned off the audio and was just starting to think of what Titian could’ve done if they had known about dinosaurs in the 15th Century. Imagine a Tyrannosaurus Rex painted like his Assumption of the Virgin: you’re looking up, up, up at a towering predator that is about to crush you, while a sky full of pterodactyls (instead of putti) and erupting volcanoes blazes overhead!

Just then, I noticed Ward Cleaver in the ’62 Fury next to me at the light.

“Hey, Ward, did The Beav hear about the new dinosaur species they discovered in Utah? Pretty cool, eh?

“Oh, no, I don’t think so. He’s been busy trying to get his son settled into his new middle school for the year. They’ve been pretty busy.”

That was sobering: hard to imagine The Beav dealing with raising kids. Just then, Steve Douglas pulled up on the other side of me, tie already askew, looking harried, as usual. He had a sheaf of papers on his lap he was riffling through, probably getting ready for a presentation on a new aerospace project.

“Hey, Steve. What’d The Chipster think about those new dinosaurs they discovered in Utah?”

“Oh, uh, well, I think he’s been preoccupied with a new computer system they’re installing in his office. Not much time to fool around with dinosaurs any more.”

Wow, adulthood is certainly hitting the old guard awfully hard. Steve made the right turn and who pulled up in his place but Ozzie, top down on the big Chrysler, golf clubs peeking out of the back seat as usual.

He waved and said, “Hey! How ’bout those new dinosaurs they discovered. Man! that’s exciting.”

Good ol’ Ozzie. Have no idea what he does, but at least he hasn’t let adulthood weigh him down. I gunned it for the office when the light changed, thinking about how Titian would’ve painted a new species of ceratopsians.

© Brad Nixon 2010, 2016


  1. Steven Spielberg is your present-day Titian. His “paintings” move, and are seen all over the world, anytime, any place, unbounded by the walls of art galleries and cathedrals.


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