Posted by: Brad Nixon | April 9, 2010

Flash: HEAVIER Element Revealed!

Those scientists! Just when we think we know what we know, we discover that we merely don’t know what we don’t know.

No sooner did I post my summary of the discovery of Lugubrium, HERE, when an even heavier element, tentatively named “Ponderium,” was announced. This is shocking news, particularly the assertion by the team of researchers that Ponderium may possess an atomic weight in excess of 1,000, which is a massive atom far beyond what any physics previously known could have predicted.

Details are sketchy, but apparently a simple corporate memo, written to convey some basic information from an executive to a group of subordinates, entered a kind of “revision wormhole,” as the research team describes it. In this so-called wormhole, a series of committees, one after another, with numbers uncounted, began revising the document, heaping upon it deletions, additions, emendations, corrections and comments. This cycle repeated itself in faster and faster repetitions, with copies of the document racing around the world via e-mail, until the accumulated mass of STUFF attached to the document generated an immensely dense new substance: Ponderium!

We can only await publication of the findings in some reputable journal like “Really Big Science” to discover the truth that underlies this startling development.


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