Posted by: Brad Nixon | March 11, 2010

Girl Scout Decoy Box

Got my boxes of Girl Scout cookies this week. It occurs to me that I’ve been buying these little belly bombs from my colleague’s daughter for my ¬†entire 14 years here at the firm, in addition to light bulbs, wrapping paper and gift cards. Thing is, she’s only in 5th grade. Have they been holding her back, extending the run of all these school and organizational fund-raisers? Is this a nationwide cabal of child labor for fund-raising — a sort of invisible sweat shop that drives a shadowy gray market in boxes of nuts and big candy bars?

I’m going to look into it.

I do have a suggestion for the Girl Scouts: just sell me the boxes. Just a cardboard box. I’ll pay the same $4, but then I won’t have to try to unload those unhealthy little snacks on co-workers, who have their own desks piled with this stuff and are trying to get me to eat some of theirs. Sell just empty boxes, and, heck, I’ll return ’em in another month in good condition and they can sell me the same cardboard boxes next year.

I might keep one to carry with me when I go to the grocery, so that I can walk past all those eager young capitalists who have their card tables full of cookies set up there. They’re so cute! Who can say no? Well you CAN, if you have your special Girl Scout Decoy Cookie Box. “Sorry, girls, I just bought a whole trainload of these at the office. Good luck with your sale!”

© 2012 Brad Nixon

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Responses

  1. It’s hard to pick a favorite among your posts, but this one’s up there.

    Like

  2. “Why There Are No Boy Scout Cookies”

    Girl Scouts sell Girl Scout cookies. Do Boy Scouts sell any cookies? In fact, do Boy Scouts sell anything? If so, I haven’t heard of it.

    Why is this?

    When I was in grade school, the girls were smarter than the boys. In the last 50 years, I guess nothing has changed. Guys have still not closed the intelligence and maturity gap. Girls sell cookies, learn very early about business and relationships, make money, and generally improve their lot. Boys? They just play games, fight, and get dirty, bloody, and muddy. This may explain a lot about the current mess we are all in.

    Like

  3. lol

    Like

  4. Boy Scouts have invented PopCorn, and been selling it for a decade or so. That’s about all I know about this. Maybe the Girl Scout Cookie Box rental and lease program could be administered by NetFlix. They seem to have the ideal business model going.

    Like


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