Posted by: Brad Nixon | February 26, 2010

Look in Ev’ry Window, Yeah

A little late getting today’s entry posted. A lot to do at home this morning, and starting late to the office means one has to drive behind The Coffee People. Since I pass a hundred and forty-seven boutique coffee palaces along the way to work, at every one there’s some soul with nothing to do with their day except mosey out in the family car and slowly, sloooooowly turn into the parking lot of Starbuck’s, Diedrich’s, Coffee Bean and so forth. Goodness knows, they NEED some caffeine to give them the oomph to press the gosh-darned ACCELERATOR! Move it, people! This is L.A., not Ft. Lauderdale!

Who are these people? Glance over at these places some day when you’re on your way to work: the lots are full, the tables are full, and there’s a line at the counter. Did all those individuals make their fortunes prior to the dot-bomb collapse, and now have nothing else to do? Are they all students whose first class is at noon? Not all of them can be out of work: what unemployed person makes a special trip to spend $3.50 for a cup of coffee?  They COULD be retired, but, in my experience, the retired generation isn’t the sit-around-the-latte-bar sort, and since all of them have seen their nest eggs decline by 30% in the past 18 months, they’re making their coffee at home and probably using the grounds twice.

Naturally, I was too late to encounter Steve or Ward or Ozzie. They would have long since driven down El Segundo Blvd.: the first two to work, and Ozzie, well, we assume to the golf course. He probably started early today. It’s due to rain later and all day Saturday, so he’s probably going to try to get 36 in. Next time I see them, though, I’ll just ask them, “Hey, Ward Cleaver? How often do you stop off at the Mocha Madness and have a cup of coffee before you get to work?” Inconceivable for a guy who takes his coffee in a cup and saucer sitting with June at the dinette in the breakfast nook while Wally and The Beav are trying to find their homework assignments.

Steve Douglas? Oh, man. Bub put the coffee on at 5:30, and then made another pot at 6:30 because the old one was getting overcooked, and then FINALLY his blasted family wakes up and starts rushing around and Steve runs through the kitchen stuffing into his briefcase the aerodynamic tables he’d worked on late the night before, gulps half a cup of joe before running out to fire up the Chevy and barely make it for the 8:30 meeting.

Ozzie? If any of these three have the time, he’s the one, but, really. How many retired big band leaders can you find at Starbucks, wearing a cardigan over a polo shirt? It’s just not in the deal.

I just don’t get it. I really don’t. If you know who these people are, enlighten me. And if you’re one of them, the accelerator is the pedal on the right. USE IT! I gotta get to work.


  1. I have seen these people. It was in the DC area in 1998, and after living in Germany for 3 years (thank you Uncle sam), I had returned to the land of…well…the US had turned into NASCAR-Starbucks nation. The people that stood in line to buy coffee and a breakfast goody, which rang up to over $9.00 on the old debit card. This is breakfast in America? Somehow that summed it up, compared to what you could have bought with a 5 Mark coin at the bakery in Germany.


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